How many of us have heard the term self-care? I’m sure almost all of us.
Now how many of us practice self-care routinely? This is where maybe I lost some of you.
Self-care is a word that has seemed to change over time, now often seen as a marketing buzzword for expensive wellness products, making “self-care” seem like something that is only experienced by middle to upper class white women, who have just enough time to squeeze something in.
But let’s break down this narrative, because self-care is for everyone and does not need to cost money.
Self-care is health care, as cited by Suzy Reading. It is something that is designed to help re-energize your battery meter and give you that extra boost your body needs. They are small intentional acts designed to nourish all parts of your body and soul. And it is something you should be aiming to do routinely.
I often frame self-care as the act of brushing our teeth to my clients. After we have seen the dentist, do we wait another 6 months or a year to take care of our teeth? Hopefully not! Instead we brush our teeth routinely at home in hopes of maintaining their health until we do go back to the dentist. Self-care is similar. These are small acts we complete to maintain our health and energy in hopes that when we come across a large stressor, we have more of a capacity to deal with it.
Now you’ve heard me say small acts, but what does this actually look like? Well it can be the typical things you may have heard like a bubble bath, face mask, working out, massage, etc.- but it’s also more than this.
These small acts can come from learning to listen to your body and honor it’s needs. For example, noticing that we are feeling tired and honoring this feeling by either taking a quick rest, enjoying a cup of coffee without distraction, or going for a walk. But the key is intention. I LOVE naps, but I feel immensely different when I say “I’m feeling tired, so I’m just going to take a quick nap to help me get through the rest of the day” versus just passing out. One allows me too wake up feeling accomplished and one wakes me up with feelings of shame and blame often that I was “lazy“.
Intention is key with self-care. It is what connects us to our body and its needs. Our body is so cool because it has this innate capacity to heal itself. Unfortunately, modern society has spent a lot of time and energy teaching us how to ignore and override what our body wants to naturally do, so we have tuned it out. This makes doing self-care sometimes feel really hard. But it is never to late to unlearn and relearn. You can start right now.
Take a second to check in with your body and notice how you are feeling right now. Is this something we want to change? Is this something we would like to add more of? Now what is one thing we can do to change or add more of this feeling? This is how we can start with self-care. One act at a time.
Now I want to end this by saying that self-care is hard, and there will be days where it feels especially hard. This is usually when we need self-care the most. Self-care is easy when life is going as planned. But when life becomes difficult and/or overwhelming it might feel really hard to know how to nourish ourselves. This can be a sign of moving into something else- coping. This is a topic for another day. But offer yourself compassion and don’t beat yourself up. Not every day can be filled with acts of self-care and that’s okay.
As I have said, you can start self-care right now and with the internet you can find so many cool ideas that may work for you. You can also reach out to me if this is an area you would like to unpack further and we can work together to figure out what self-care means to you.
I will leave you with an awesome resource below that was created at the height of COVID but can still be used today, especially given all of the heaviness we have been carrying for the past few years.
I hope you all take care and until next time.
-Brittany
References: Suzy Reading (2021). Self-care for tough times: How to heal in times of anxiety, loss & change.
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